Sunday, 24 February 2008

Oscar Winners

These are the outcomes for the 2008 Academy Awards. Though everyone was a winner in my book, this lot just went that extra mile.

For Actress with the biggest forehead: Ellen Page, for her performance in "Juno". Have you noticed?

For Film title which is obviously just trying to sell tickets: "There will be blood". Oh, come on guys, seriously. I mean ffs "there will be bloody", give me a break. Ooooh, look at us, this movie is so hard core, don't believe us? Read the title.

For "trying to sound cool" Film title: "I'm not there" - What do you mean you're not there? I never asked you were you where. NO ONE DID!!

For Film with the most potential (but is instead made into a musical): "Sweeny Todd the Demon Barber of Fleet Street". Have you seen it or even read about it? It's your standard exciting revenge and bake people into pies movie, there's nothing bad about it! Apart from the fact that it's a bloody musical - *In the bin*

For most pathetic attempt to to have an "arty" title: "La Vie en Rose". *sigh* I don't even want to comment.

For least original screenplay: "There will be bloody". If it's not your idea then it's not exactly YOUR movie, is it? "Adapted Screenplay" my arse!

For most annoying guy: Michael Moore for his performance in "sicko". You might be funny mate, but lets face it - you're not making any friends, ever, are you?!

For most annoyingly long Film title: *inhale* "The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford". Why do they do this? They're purposely trying to break rules in an attempt to stand out. Well they'll be standing out all right - out side in the pile of s**t that's sitting in my neighbours garden.

For best over-acting: Tom Wilkinson for his performance in "Michael Clayton". He plays a mentally ill wonders if he was acting at all!

For actress who's more concerned with been considered the "best" by accepting roles in more dramatic films, than making films which are more accepted and enjoyed by the masses: Cate Blanchett for her performance in "Elizabeth: The Golden Years". Come on sweetheart - admit it, you're a glory hunter! You've done it before, you'll do it again. What's sad is....she actually thinks she's good.

For stupid film title which doesn't actually make sense: " Gone Baby Gone". WTF? Eh? Would you PATHETIC people care to explain this one?

All in all I think we've had another successful awards ceremony. Filled with the same old bull, and pathetic attempts to make films which aren't what the producers think they are! No doubt we'll have some repeat winners next year!

1 comment:

Andy said...

Hi, i happened upon your page by accident, but thought i'd give it a look. Now first i'd like to say, of course everyone's entitled to their opinion and that, and for better or worse the internet has given everyone a medium for their opinion to be expressed through. Having said that, do you not think its a little ignorant of you to make such grandiose claims on subjects you know nothing about? Ranting in such an uninformed way about these things is a little insulting to people who do understand them.
For example "there will be blood" isnt an attempt to intrigue the masses, as you would know if you've seen the film, it doesnt exactly convey 'cross-over appeal'. "I'm not there" a biopic of bob dylan, the name is taken from a song of dylans, and not that that is actually what its refering to, but millions of people have asked where that man was at several intervals over the past 40 years (not no one as you suggest), this tends to happen when you have 40+ albums. And ur criticisms of cate blanchett can only be described as ludicrous, im not a blanchett fan, but she is an artist and shud never have to be criticised by an idiot for not appealing to the masses (if you cant get it, thats ur problem, not hers), i could literaly go on for hours about ur scandalous claims, but ill finish by saying, if "gone baby gone" isnt for you, if you dont get that the only way to improve our situation as a society is to raise these questions of morality and responsibility, well maybe u shud stick to lighter films, nothing challenging, but in that case you probably shudnt blog about these things, why dont you leave writing and all that thinking to the adults.

Peace, love and happiness,